When being acquainted with a potential spouse, we will initially go through the icebreaking stages of generally getting to know the person. If we haven’t made the mistake of getting physically intimate before getting to know them, then we have managed to use this window to know what kind of person we are getting ourselves involved with.
Even at this point some of us have been hasty in our judgement of the other person. Though you may have some form of attraction to the persona, charisma or spirit of the person you are getting to know. They make you laugh, smile, you can engage in meaningful conversations and the person makes you feel comfortable. Some of us do have people in our lives where this is successfully achieved and we always will cherish the moments spent with this particular person.

Now, one of things that is a great highlight in the preliminary stages of getting to know someone is when you guys find that you have common interests like favourite foods, topics in which you discuss, favourite movies, music, colours, subjects and places to visit.

There are many people who generally will attract or attach themselves to the company of that person because you have a form of common ground with them and you both can relate or empathise with such interests, thoughts and experiences.
These are all important and great things to establish in relationship building from the start. Having common interests will start to invoke a bond between the two.
Some people will base their relationship on common interests alone, or just knowing the other persons interest alone.

Now… If your aim is to pursue a relationship with this person and you can in some form see that this person is a potential life partner, you love all the things so far about them, and your relationship starts to advance more, then are you going to only build this off common interests alongside the general friendship? or are you looking for something more to pursue with this person.
Sometimes everything can be great at these stages, then as time goes by, there may be things that crop up which could alter or affect the course of this relationship.

Let’s get a few examples:

One doesn’t want any children where the other wants a whole tribe, One wants to own their own business, the other wants to stick with their 9-5 job and just be comfortable. One want’s their children home-schooled, the other finds it easier to just send them to public/private school. One wants to live in a different country, the other one is comfortable in the country they are living in. One wants to purchase their home, the other is just happy paying rent because when they die, they cant take the house with them.

Ok, there’s more but these are some examples which have the potential to initiate a weakening of the bond between the two.

Being able to establish common goals play an important role in future aspirations. Are you in the same mindset? Do you both want the same for your children’s future if you have any children? Your career goals may not be the same but is there a compatibility in what you both want to achieve in life?
These are factors which should not be ignored if you are planning to have this person as your spouse. Your spouse should be your ultimate friend and business partner and you both share visions where you can build together and set up a great family legacy.
Being able to communicate on these things early also can help you determine whether you can see yourself growing with them, even past retirement!!!

If you acknowledge these things at the beginning then maybe you will be able see if this relationship is going to go anywhere. Do you both have goals which could have you work together as a couple, or do you see that they may have you both going in separate directions? It’s best to know sooner or later.
Not to say that plans can’t change over time, but the general ambition and efforts may be able to have you continue towards achieving. Being open, transparent, motivating and inspiring, compassionate can help keep the target setting and momentum going.

Now… there are other factors which can affect trying to establish common goals and interests and one of those things could be cultural differences which can possibly bring about cultural conflict or general conflict of interests. This can usually stem from if there are differences in upbringing with the person you are trying to grow with. Look at things also on whether you can relate to each other’s lifestyles. Differences in race and religious beliefs, diets etc. Plays a part. Is there a way this can be compromised to reach a common ground. We have to look at the reality of these situations whilst it is easy to talk on idealism. This is why it’s very important to discuss these thing initially at its early convenience which will help come the conclusion if this person is compatible with you on such a long term basis when trying to set goals together.

Ultimately, if it is concluded that you and that other don’t have common interests or goals, then at least you know where you stand with that person to me able to make a more sound decision on how you proceed with or without them. Not everyone is everyone’s cup of tea or our preference to how we like our tea may not be the same. Maybe some form of common ground could have many of us remaining civil. A bit like agreeing to disagree!