Hey Husband!!!

Your wife has taken the test, two clear blue stripes come up! She goes again to confirm the confirmation. Two stripes again! You don’t need convincing anymore that she has successfully conceived. You are both pregnant!!! Congratulations!!!

And yes! you are BOTH pregnant – this was no typing error!!!

Why both though? Well, lets start to live in the realm of consideration here

It is a beautiful thing when your wife becomes pregnant, especially if you have been planning for a baby. You can say “I’m going to be a dad!”

On the contrary to the beauty of it, there are also the complexities involved. The process may not seem so beautiful at times, from conception, through the first all the way to the third trimester.

Though you are both a couple, it’s true and obvious that your wife is the one actually pregnant, but you are both in this together. At no point you should make her feel that she is alone in this at all.

The day you find out she tests positive, is the day you both will be embarking on a whole new journey, and even if you have already had children, you need to treat every journey as if its new because all of them will have unique elements of experience.

This is also the day your schedule will change, and pre-booked holidays at work will have to change.

The twelve-week scan will be booked off work, the twenty-week scan, prenatal classes, appointments with the midwife, maybe a week off around the expected due date, plus getting your paternity leave.

All holidays you had booked for the year has now been re-scheduled to evolve around your pregnancy. Yes, this is your pregnancy as well as hers.

Whether this is going to be your first child or not, if you have never quite understood the development process in a pregnancy, the factors involved, the risks, and the science behind it, then you are going to grab some textbooks, visit health websites or watch some YouTube videos of what to expect during pregnancy from the developmental stages of your child, the physical and mental stages of your pregnant wife, suitable dietary requirements and what to do if certain event arise during this whole period – and believe me, it’s a WHOLE period – be prepared for the hormonal changes of your wife which isn’t going to happen just for a few days like her menstrual cycle, this is at any given time over a 40 week period.

This is so that certain events won’t come as a shock to you – you are more prepared, more vigilant and will be able to plan to exercise the right actions to take. It can also help you to put your wife’s mind at ease at times. She will appreciate the fact that you have gone out of your way to learn about the things that she is going through and you have learned to familiarise yourself with elements which surround pregnancies and possible complications.

Imagine, you as a man will never be able to fathom the pain, the hormonal changes, the craves, the fatigue that your pregnant wife will experience, you will only be able to witness it. The best thing you can do is support her. And support doesn’t come better with knowledge of what you are supporting.

Get to know what the purpose of the 12 week scan is, She may become anaemic, so you may need to help her ensure she has a good iron intake, get to know about the risks of preeclampsia and what to do to help keep her blood pressure down.

Her hips are expanding over time and she will experience pains in her sides, and lower back. Her knees, ankles and feet will swell over time. These are the parts where massages, and hot baths will come in to play and you will be the one running them for her at any given chance. It is not a complaining matter. Again, you are never going to fathom what she is going through, and she may give you some serious looks of resentment if you just sit there and watch her suffer.

Also, there’s the 20-week scan, so we are halfway through the journey. By this time, if you chose to, will get to know the gender of the child. So now, if you are lacking D.I.Y skills then you better get onto YouTube or be getting tips from friends. Because toward the end you will notice your wife naturally, preparing to welcome her child into the world – known as ‘nesting’

Now what could be greater than you nesting with her? You both discuss how the baby’s room should be. For the first few months anyway, more than likely the baby will be in the room with you next to your wife, maybe in a Moses basket. (Be prepared for those sleepless nights)

But anyway, you will build the cot, paint the room, fit shelves, the baby’s wardrobe, and any other job you can find to do to be of assistance.

This support which you have provided will lift a lot of burdens, increase the bond between you and your wife, and she will never feel like she walked through the pregnancy alone. She will look back and will treasure the fact that you were there for her all the way.

Plus you would have gained a substantial amount of knowledge which will be great for any future pregnancies (if you haven’t given up already) where you can just apply what you learned to remain that supportive husband.