Hey Parents!!! This should be an interesting read…

The initial parent to child bond is usually the most intense, loving and most demanding part of raising a child. Your baby is the ultimate definition of being a dependant and they solely rely on being provided for in all things.

A lot of the interaction is face to face, involving eye contact, conversations, facial expressions which stimulates a baby’s cognitive development and growth.

As your child grows, the dependency starts to become more diluted over time, their mobility, their ability to eat, motor skills, and to be able to make more independent decisions.

Predominantly, the things that a child learns are through assimilation, then when their cognition plays more of a part, based on interaction and experiences with their environment. It influences their behaviour and decision making upon future encounters in their lives as they get older.

So…. as we know, the above equation explains a good portion regarding the growth of a child. Now some factors that are known to have a great influence on a child’s cognition are both physiological and psychological – all ranging from their senses, diet, what they are exposed to both indoors and outdoors, interactions with family and friends, the activities they engage with, education etc.

There is more control over what child is exposed to at the early stages of life, as they are very dependant on their parents/guardians, then from the moment they are becoming more mobile, when they can lift their head to focus more on their surroundings, crawl, walk, climb, speak, and be more responsive, then they will start to seek outside their dependency. They will still try to return to their primary sources who they had from the beginning at times to question things to if they require assistance – for example, baby’s that can walk and run but are still not potty trained.

All this is like a very prolonged process of a bird leaving the nest. A bird will raise its chicks to a degree until they are deemed fit to leave. From survival skills, discerning its predators, knowing what to feed on and where, or when to find it, how to fly (if they are a flying bird) and how to build a home.

Now, as parents are we today considerate and aware of our involvement of preparing our children for such things?

We ultimately understand that there are responsibilities as parents which can get in the way of the literal upbringing of their children. And there are many current factors that are a major problem in this current generation of children.

So, let us try to diagnose the situation. When you go to visit a Doctor with issues, usually to come to a sound diagnosis they will ask a series of questions to help prescribe the right treatment.

 

Based on this subject, we can ask this first question. Does this current social and economic climate play an important role in families today? Many would believe the answer to be YES

Were families heathier in previous generations? YES

So now we can see things are not better now as they were before. Let us go further into the diagnostics of the situation.

 

What was different back then with the family relationships back then?

It is safe to say that there were longer parent and child interaction that did not start to diminish so early in their upbringing, there were fewer distractions which can hinder the parent/child relationship, such as smartphones and tablets. There used to be just one main TV in the living room and would be watched mainly during family time. There was no online console gaming where a child will be up late interacting with people all over the world. There used to be more youth clubs and community centres where young people can engage in face to face social activities. Discipline and punishment were a lot stronger.

Well, at this point, there would be enough symptoms here to be able to come to some sort of diagnosis.

This current social climate is clearly not healthy.

Imagine your household being like a diet, and at one point it seemed quite healthy. Then as time progressed, the diet started to deteriorate. It is now not as strict as it was at the beginning. For example, baby’s feeding time was quite strict, even the waking up at night had to be on point and consistent.

Now over time, there are fewer demands, but we start to lose consistency and strictness. This part of the diet is being able to stimulate your child, whilst you still go out to work and maintain the rest of the house – whether a single parent or co-parenting. Trying to maintain a diet is usually harder by yourself because you don’t have that teammate to help keep each other motivated (so it can be harder for the single parent).

Eventually, over time, we will try to be more convenient and lazier with maintaining such a diet.

Now in today’s climate being unhealthy, Parents trying to help stimulate a child’s growth has developed many distractions, and parents introduce distractions into the child’s life out of convenience – Especially during this pandemic, and some parents don’t know how to or didn’t have time to assist with home-schooling. They have sat a child in front of a TV, tablet or smartphone, and it is at it also doesn’t do any better when the parent is doing the same. We have a parent saying that they are too tired to interact with their children and maintain a bond but allow themselves to interact on these smart devices – even during idle time. Children will not see any different now.

So imagine the times when your children are asking to play with you, maybe read with you at some point before you introduced a smart device to them, you would say you are busy, whilst on your device.

Now they have a device, and you want them to do some chores, clean their room, wash clothes, help in the kitchen but you get annoyed because they are stuck on social media or playing games, watching video’s etc. Well, they learned from you.

Now try taking that device away from them or put restrictions on when they use it, including the content – it’s going to be a problem for many. You have inserted that chocolate into the diet and now there is a chocolate addiction in the house.

If the children saw you taking the phone away from yourself during times where they were craving your interaction as a parent then maybe they would have learned to do the same from before you started handing them the chocolate. Parents now need to take accountability for the way they have raised their children and take responsibility for the household’s diet.

So with all addictions that can affect one’s health, it’s now about breaking the habit if you want better results, but if you not strict health of your household which is heavily influenced by today’s current climate, then don’t be expecting your ideal results. It starts by re-directing their path of stimulation, influences, interactions, motivation. The first stages are going to be tough but over time, the momentum will manifest into motion – providing you don’t give up.

 

We know today, we are limited with the control of our child’s influences, especially if they are at public/private school and the responsibility during their period in education outside the home is given over to the curriculum. Also living among various cultures where they could be conflict in lifestyles or even influences from a lifestyle which your child’s parents don’t follow or condone.

It is still down to parents to teach their children how to conduct themselves in such environments. Not all children will conform. It’s down to overcoming distractions at the end of the day.

Let’s go back to the bird leaving the nest scenario. A distracted bird can potentially become subject to being preyed upon. Therefore, during its upbringing, the mother will do its best to help it have its senses exercised to discern things like dangers in its surroundings.

A lot of the times, parents during this current climate are so preoccupied themselves that they are failing to acknowledge what their children are being exposed to. Example some of the sexual innuendos which are subliminally put into children’s cartoons, even children’s cartoons which are teaching children to rebel against their parents. Even things like allowing them to play games and watch movies, well above their age group. They are going to see these things as a norm in their life which will affect the health of that child in the long run. It will have a backlash on the main teachers which supposed to be the parents.

So if you want to establish a better and strict diet with your child, then it starts with the diagnosis prior to making repairs.

Remember, the children are the vessels of the future and it’s us responsibly to have them fit enough to take it on!